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Coping With The Death Of A Loved One: The Least Used Resource |
You know in your heart that nothing ever stays the same. People change, lives change, situations and worlds change.
The trouble with change is that you can feel insecure and without foundation when the reality you know and have got used to is no longer the comfortable way it was before.
Those changes bring with them the inevitability of letting go of the things that you believed made you feel secure and loved, and learning that life really does carry on and that you have a strong and true foundation in your heart to sustain you.
When you love with an open heart and you share yourself with the world, you respect another's right to live free and unbounded to you by possessive love or need. You are you, and they are they, and the connection between you is built on respect and love for each other's right to be.
Losing someone or something tests you by asking that you not only let go, but that you break free. It's about learning not to be controlled by a fear of loneliness, or attachment and anxiety.
Remember, love asks nothing for itself. It just is. Letting go without regret of important things in your life frees yourself of imprisonment.
That's not to say that you stop loving anyone or caring about them because you don't want to risk the pain of loss or the lessons you can learn from it, difficult though that prospect may be. It means that you engage fully in that relationship and celebrate the time you have together despite knowing that everything is finite, and when the time comes for letting go, you wish them well for the journey that they're on. Just as you are on your journey.
Think of people in your own life you have moved away from, or have lost as a partner or a friend. Reverse the situation for a second and imagine if they couldn't or wouldn't let you go. How claustrophobic that would have been? How little you would feel they valued your right to be and your life decisions? Would you have stayed, knowing that you were compromising your own journey and in so doing, compromising theirs? How would that have helped either of your grow?
Acknowledging loss and letting go is a deep and loving act, and the feeling of loss simply signals an emptiness of where something or someone once was. And you have the ability to fill that aching space with your own love and compassion. There is no emptiness where there is love.
By: Neel Raman
Neel Raman, is an author, presenter, workshop facilitator and coach to many. He has written ‘Hoops and Freedom’, a powerful self-improvement book, in the form of an entertaining fiction story, targeted at those who want and demand more from life. To get the first chapter for FREE and to receive FREE motivational lessons, visit www.focusedon.com.au/blog To find out more about this book and to register to receive FREE newsletters and other FREE offers, visit: www.hoopsandfreedom.com
Article source http://w4rum.com/1947.t
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| [By Kimber Fulcher] [05/May/07] |
